Myron: Elizabeth goes through many different modes during our friendship. Sometimes she likes me and sometimes she doesn't. Today she doesn't like me very much.
Elizabeth: Myron. Today you ripped down the living room drapes with no explanation given beyond your shouts of "I'm a pirate! Arrrrrr!"
Myron: Well, at the time these were the correct circumstances to do such a thing!
Elizabeth: There are no correct circumstances to destroy part of our living room!
Myron: Oh! So when I'm a pirate I'm not allowed to destroy our material possessions, is that what you're trying to tell me?
Elizabeth: A: You aren't a pirate, and B: Yes, that is exactly what I'm trying to tell you.


Myron: Larry the Cable Guy was right, women are different than men.
Elizabeth: *sigh*